Well here goes.  I love to write, but just because you love something doesn't mean you are good at it.  Do you really have to be good at something to enjoy it?  How do I measure success?  Was I successful when I finally finished my first novel?  Will I be successful if and when I ever publish?  If I never publish will my time have been wasted?  These questions repeat over and over and over again in my brain.  Just like my old 45 of "Jessie's Girl" the needle stuck on woman like that, woman like that, woman like that.  Someone hit the record player already!!
My two greatest adversaries are Insecurity and Procrastination.  I cringe every time someone reads something I have written.  Will they enjoy it?  Will they understand my point of view?  Will I be just like those poor American Idol contestants who know they are destined for a great music career only to butcher a Celine Dion song on tv in front of millions.  Randy rolling his eyes as America falls off their couches laughing. And seriously, why do I give a blankety blank blank blank what someone else thinks?  Who knows, I just do.  These are my thoughts and creations.  Sharing them is never easy.
Procrastination, Procrastination my frenemy these many years.  I still hear my father's voice echoing in my head, "Don't put off until tomorrow, what you could do today", UGH!!!  Sometimes I sit down ready to write and my mind begins to wander.  Wandering can be good creatively, but wandering days on end without placing a single consonant on the paper, not so much.  The ideas are locked in my head. Until I put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, the protagonist can not start her journey the plot can not thicken and the twist will never come at the end. 
So this was my first blog, the musings of an unpublished, never heard of writer (maybe I always will be).  In the end it doesn't matter, because I am driven to write-good, bad or ugly it is what I love.  For those of you reading this with a critical eye, allow me to clarify.  I said I love to write, I never said I particularly cared for good grammar or proper punctuation.